The 14th of February now looms over us as a romantic day for significant others, or a reminder of absence for those without one.

In my 20th year, I am once again spending Valentines day sans boyfriend, without ever having experienced a real relationship. Although, there has been a shift inside me this time around.

I definitely used to feel pressured when family members would ask me if I've got a special someone, and time and time again all I have to offer is a big fat no. Heck, people I went to high school with are getting engaged for crying out loud!

Those questions used to make me feel lesser, until I decided that I would never let myself be defined by who or who I wasn't dating. Validation of confidence from another persons word won't ever matter if I don't believe in the myself. And you know what?

I've built a life that brings me so much excitement and joy I could scream it from rooftops.

At the end of the day, we are looking past all the small loves between the nooks and crannies to ask ourselves why we haven't found someone to share life with.

When the truth is, we have already been sharing moments with people we've loved all along.

That's what Valentines day is about right? To love, and to be loved. I'm here to say, every single one of you is so cherished.

Think about folks who smile when handing over your usual at the coffee shop.

Think about all the friends you're surrounded by each day who make you laugh so hard your stomach aches.

Think about relatives, and knowing that however crazy you might be, they'll still hang out with you anyway.

Think about siblings whose roots are intertwined with yours; they understand you like no one else can.

Think about parents more powerful than superheroes, you are the single reason behind every minute in their day.

Soulmates are not always lovers.

I hope you spend the day with the Valentines you didn't even know you had.